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These Two Simple Words Will Finally Let You Take Control Of Your Life

Use the "I am" statements to take control of your life, to become the person you've always wanted to be


If you’ve been following along on the blog for a while, by now, you’ll have identified the limiting beliefs that have been holding you back from achieving your dreams, as well as critical strategies to check your ego. Lastly, we ended with my favorite technique to change your physiology, every time you start coming face to face with self-doubt or those damn fears that always seem to stand in your way.


If you can change your state, you can change your life.


Today on the blog, we are kicking off with determining our “I Am…” Statements which, has been one of my key strategies to finally take control of my life (without succumbing to the influence of others.)


In this lesson, you will learn what the hell an “I am” statement means, how it can help us cut comparison and outside influence from our lives, and how we can better understand the person we want to be, to live out our true life’s purpose!


RELATED: Have You Allowed Shame To Shape Your Life?

RELATED: The Secret Strategy I Used To Become The Person I’ve Always Wanted To Be


What Is An “I Am” Statement?


An “I am “ statement, is where you are actively filling in the blank, to define who you are.


When we can define our “I am” statements, we are taking full ownership and responsibility for our lives. It also gives us a purpose in life. How? These statements help direct us to become the person we want to be, to lean into our core values and core sense of self. This mindset will help us stay the course when times get tough, or when people try to influence our decisions.


If you do not decide who you are, the rest of the world will try to choose it for you.


self development quote to help you decide who you want to be


But like we’ve determined in earlier lessons, our limiting beliefs and our shame, just looooove to put their two cents into who we should be. I also see lots of people say things like “I want to be more giving,” or “I should be more selfless.” Statements like this are pure crap. Wishing and hoping is wasting your life.


Claim your life, dammit! Determine who you want to be, by fearlessly saying “I am…” and fill in the blanket, with whatever characteristics you want!


Let it light a fire under your ass. Feel invigorated. Get excited to be YOU, is what I’m sayin’!


Who are you?


I am loved motivational quote


Cut Out Comparison


As I mentioned above, we cannot just wish or hope that our lives will change. Similarly, we cannot wish that we could be someone different. If you want to change who you are, you must take action to improve yourself.


To do this, start by defining your “I am” statement. And do so unapologetically.


If you leave this statement blank or undefined, the rest of the world will try to fill it in for you. And trust me, this will leave you feeling lost in your life. When you spend your time (and therefore your life) trying to please everyone around you, you will end up exhausted, drained, and lost. This mindset is how most people end up feeling lost, or without a real purpose in their life. They have spent so long ignoring who they are, that they don’t even know where to begin. They have allowed other people to do the hard work for them, for far too long.


You are permitting everyone else to judge you and to decide who they think you should be.


And if that isn’t sucky enough, if you do not know who you are, you will spend a vast majority of your life looking to others, to decide the type of person you “should be.” We compare ourselves to the people we admire (hello jealousy) and try to lead our life down the same path. We want the same things, experiences, riches, and jobs of the people we see around us, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you are using it for inspiration. But when you judge your self worth or your success, based on someone else’s metric, you will lose yourself to the poison of comparison, rather than being grateful for the things you do have in your life.


If you hustle to please everyone, you will please no one, including yourself.


How to cut out comparison and make yourself happy


Stop looking to everyone else, to help you decide what you want out of life. Their story is their own. Your story is your own. Other people do not have the power to dictate your life. Nor do they have the right. But when you are looking at others in comparison or jealousy, you are trading in your authenticity, and embracing a story meant for someone else.


Comparison will only keep you stuck in envy, jealousy, or a scarcity mindset. It will never give you strength or motivation. This belief is a lie that we tell ourselves, every time we stay spend too much time on Instagram, or every time we hang out with that friend that makes us feel bad about ourselves.


To avoid this comparison, keep your head down and stay in your lane. The story of your life is your’s after all — no need to color it with someone else’s crayon.


RELATED: Learn To Truly Love Yourself Today (For REAL) In 3 Simple Steps


Put “I Am” Statement Into Action


I want you to pull out a piece of paper, and start this exercise with a no-judgment, free attitude. To figure out who you candidly are, you must be willing to sit inside of discomfort for a while. You might even face your fear or the shame that you’ve kept locked away. But this is OK. This step is how you begin to take charge of your life and more importantly, decide who you truthfully are so that you can live out the life you truly want.


  1. Brain dump: write out all of the “I Am” statements that you can think of. Write down anything that pops into your head, regardless if it’s silly, weird, unrealistic, or whatever. No judgment here. Simply fill in the blank, I am ________.
  2. Go through your list, and cross out anything that doesn’t truly align with your heart (aka cross out any statements that came from a place of envy or comparison of others)
  3. Now, organize the list, from most important to you at the top, to least important. So at the top of your list, you should have “I am _______” and this answer should be the one that makes your heart soar, and gives you an instant sense of being uplifted and hopeful. Order the rest of your statements accordingly.
  4. Lastly, print these statements out of a list, and hang them in your house where you will see them regularly. Every time you look at your list, read through your statements and spend a moment to visualize yourself, understanding and believing that this is your new reality.
  5. BONUS: When you encounter a situation, whether pleasant or unpleasant, before asking ask yourself if your ensuing response is in alignment with your “I am ______” statement. If not, redirect. If so, move forward with confidence, knowing that you are actively moving into the person that you are meant to be.


Have Questions?

Connect with me on social media, and let me know what your “I am ______” statements are! Or comment below with any questions you might have!


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